On a journey to write a book. Using the barefoot year as my platform. Rough drafts and random thoughts will be written down. Before I publish, I post.

 

Love. Affection. Relationships

“Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment. Love is also a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection;  and the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another.”

“Affection or fondness is a “disposition or rare state of mind or body” that is often associated with a feeling of a type of love. It is also popularly used to denote a feeling or type of love, amounting to more goodwill or friendship”.

Relationship or relationships may refer to either interpersonal or intimate. 

You can also go into the mathematical aspect of it but that is not an area of expertise for me.

We tend to use the word “love” as if it is something we can just throw around. This might be due to the fact the we “love” to throw it around. We love all kinds of things. And then when “loving” all other things, we start to use this in vain.

I don’t have a problem with love.  Don’t get my wrong here. I am in-love with love. It is a very beautiful aspect of life. It’s the starting point of many things. Love is a crucial aspect of relationships.

You see, I don’t have a “Love”, but I love my friends. Thus I do have “love”.

I am not very good at the love type of relationships (if you speak about the boyfriend girlfriend one). Not because of commitment issues and such. I have committed to friendships and to other things. I know that I can commit. 

You don’t always have to be in a relationship. You don’t have to conform. People feel different about this. But what I have seen is that relationships with friends and family are the ones that I carry close to my heart. These are the relationships that help me put things in perspective.

There are no discrimination between genders. Just a close knit circle of friends with opinions filled with love and affection, creating my perfect relationship.

Little men on tall shoulders

You know that little voice at the back of your head? That one that can either help you make a good decision or push you from the shore into the ditch? That very same voice can be a person, someone close to you, or just your subconscious that wants to tell you something. That “something” that can either make or break your future in whatever it may be in.

I spent a lot of time trying to figure out where my “little voice” came from or who it is. Walking around with one big question mark on my face. Sure there were influences both positive and negative. But those negative influences sure do look damn sexy.

As I continued through a process of healing and growing and surrounding myself with positive people, positive influences, this “little voice” trying to tell me “something” become more clear. Like daylight. More often. Every day. Like daylight. The light in the darkness. Or at the end of the tunnel (which was the beginning of a new journey).

I have fallen many times for that “sexy voice”. So seductive. Misleading. As a young unsure person, we are more likely to fall for that more attractive seductive voice, rather than going for the right choice. Time and time again I did it. That same voice that ends relationships. The voice that lies. That steels. That deceives. The one that falls into addiction.

What I’m trying to get to is that we can almost sort of control those voices. Those influences. Sure, they will always be there trying to deceive you. Mislead you. But you can choose with whom you spend your time. Spend it with people who will influence you positively. People that brings out your strengths. Point out your weaknesses. And help you grow into a new, more productive, positive person.

Catalyst? Thankfulness

How many of the seven days a week do you actually wake up and say “thank you for this day”? A moment of appreciation passes you by. Everything gets substituted for something “quicker”. Like fast food. Everything nowadays are ready and available at our fingertips. But appreciation or thankfulness are also there. Or rather, it should be there.

For instance, I can take an example out of my own life. I am quick to say yes for a coffee or a beer. Or just hanging around with a friend.  But half an hour to say thanks for the things in life just takes too long. And people get angry about it. I am guilty of this (not about the angry part).  We are quick to say yes for pleasure/fun but slow to react on something that will provide self assurance (just a thought).

I don’t think we know how to be on our own anymore. We are entangled in so many communities. In person. Social networking. BBM’s. etc. Of this I am also guilty. Slowly but surely this is coming back to me. Reading. Writing. Singing.

Tanya Davis wrote a nice poem about how to be alone. Have a look at it here.

Thankfulness can be a catalyst for so many things. I speak out of experience (not to boost my own ego). Appreciating other things and people and being thankful for that or them might just save your life.  Even swop your old life for a new one.

Introduction

I am writing this not to try and convince you of something.  Something that you don’t believe in or don’t feel comfortable about.  I am not trying to bash you with the Bible. But I would like to share some of the stories and lessons that I have learned.  Most of it will come from the barefoot year.  I see that as the best platform because then I can write about something that I have some knowledge about and how it helped me to see things. But I will also write about random thoughts and things that I struggle with.  A lot of people have come to me with the same type of questions that I went to ask others.

These are only my opinions as we are all entitled to them. But in turn I hope to inspire you (and myself again).